Saturday, September 23, 2006

My ass germs killed my baby and other horrible anecdotes

Today I am no longer thinking that I haven't suffered enough. Today I am composing a list of captions for some of last night's most awful flashbacks.

Hopefully, eventually, retching up these stories one-by-one in a slow-motion vomit will leave me feeling better, perhaps a little less like a hole is being eaten away inside me. For now, I entertain myself with titles from the chamber of horrors.

A few of my favorites:

"You're sorry for my loss? My LOSS is even't dead yet. My loss is kicking me right now and I saw her on an ultrasound an hour ago."

"Just because I'm feeling fine doesn't mean my baby isn't dead." Alternative title: "Just because I'm feeling fine doesn't mean my baby isn't dead and didn't die THREE WEEKS AGO."

"Um, yeah, I can't scatter these ashes because I'd be creating a tiny crime scene. Could I get them re-processed so there won't be any femurs or hip sockets, please?"

"Okay ... so the fetus was supposed to look like a raspberry. When was the last time you saw a 3-inch long raspberry with fingers and toes?

"What I did on my summer vacation: Added another set of ashes to the one already in my kitchen cabinet. During Thanksgiving break, maybe I'll figure out what to do with them."

No wonder I can't get to sleep.

That's all for now. Time to go attend to the kids, aka "the trolls."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! I don't even want to think about what my ass germs might be capable of. Flattening cities, causing widespread famine and possibly the resurrgence in the popularity of shoulder pads.

6:11 AM  
Blogger Emma's Mum said...

Thank you so much for you post on my blog. I am so sorry for everything you have gone through to bring your to this blog community. I hope that it helps you as much as it has helped and continues to help me. I am really taking your "go to the light" comment to heart!! Take care....

6:00 PM  
Blogger Clare said...

Hello - I have come from Charlottes blog - just wanted to say hello, welcome, and don't worry I've a boy who is seven and partner who is pregnant, so should just be a bundle of thanks be's but I also had a shocking time getting pregant, lost a baby myself, broke up with my boy's Dad and feel consistently guilty that our inability to have another baby drove us apart and therefore left my boy living across two houses (and yes it is very friendly but no that doesn't make it all ok) and a mother who is going to completely freak when she finds out my partner is pregnant (in a homophobic this is completely bad for children type way)... it is more than okay to be complex!

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi- here via Charlotte as well. Welcome to the blogosphere. Glad to have another gal that likes to swear!

5:11 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:58 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

My vagina germs killed my first dead baby. Maybe we should start a club. :o)

6:59 AM  
Blogger hd said...

Just joining you from Charlotte's. Welcome. I'm glad you're here, and I love your screen name.

8:06 AM  
Blogger whatthef*ck said...

thanks for all of your kind and encouraging words. i've been so busy getting acquainted with all of you on your blogs that i havent had a chance to post myself. i feel a good one coming on.

to emma's mum- i hope you've seen Poltergeist so my "Go towards the light CarolAnn. Go towards the light" comment seemed funny and not just preachy and new-agey. if not, then i'm glad it was helpful anyway.

i feel like i've discovered a secret society that i've been longing to find.

calliope, i get your post already about feeling like your blogger friends could/should be real life friends. dont worry, i'm not a stalker but these fledgling embryos and fetuses that are on the way have inspired me to knit baby beanies. But where would i send them? that was a rhetorical question.

4:00 PM  

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