Friday, October 27, 2006

Baby named. Done. Check.


My dear, dear, dear friend from college, who I love and relate to better than most anybody I've ever met, suggested it. It made me cry and actually feel something for like an entire minute!

Sprout. It really embodies the hope I have that the little creature will grow and grow until becomes a full-blown baby that lives!

One of my favorite memories of my dear friend: We're in college, maybe juniors or seniors, at one of our sorority rush functions (Don't rush to judgement-I SUCKED at being a member of this organization). We are supposed to be talking to girls who are rushing instead of each other. This hideously perky sister comes up and suggests that we go talk to some girls. Dear friend looks her straight in the eye and says, "You want a slap?"

I died. How can you not love her? I do, with all my heart. She's always been braver than me. I think such things. She says them. I wish I could be more like her, but I am really chickenshit on the inside. I am too afraid that somebody will get mad at me or snap at me or not like me, even if I don't like them anyway. Then later I am wishing that I'd had the balls to speak up about something. And it eats away at me.

I am a closet wimp.


Blogger AJW5403 said...

Yes I have been lurking. I find that I am sometimes afraid to post on some blogs because of my situation. But yes I have been reading yours and wish you only the best. Now that I know you know of me I will be more likely to send you a message.

I wish I could help you with the whole progesterone thing but I never had that checked with me. With my insurance they would not pay for any testing to see why I was miscaring until I had 3 in a row. But once the found the crazy chromosome on my daughter Emma they then paid for our chromosome testing. At that point we knew why I was lossing my babies.

I am now a big advact on people getting their chromosome’s tested if they miscarry a lot. I feel even after one loss the doctors should test them. I thihnk it would save a lot of heart ach.

I like the name sprout.

3:08 AM  
Blogger SaraS-P said...

Sprout is a great name.

And there's nothing wrong with being a wimp, especially when you are probably far stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are still trying, a wimp would've quit long ago.

8:50 AM  
Blogger charlotte said...

Sprout is perfect! What a lovely name.

And you are NOT a wimp. Pllllease. You say balsey and sometimes too honest things all the time :)

8:56 AM  
Blogger whatthef*ck said...

but charlotte i only say them to you because know our friendship can handle it. i trust that even if you don't like soemthing i say, you won't lash out or snap at me. it's the lashing at that i really fear.

probably stems from getting slapped in the face by my mother for no good reason. like the time when she slapped me in the face because i asked her what happened to her eyebrows. i was a little girl when she did that.

there a bunch of people that i am upset with for how they abandoned me after losing LC and/or LM. i dont want to share anything with them know but i don want to carry these grudges around. i've got to much other shit to lug around.

thanks for showing me that there are people who can handle the truth. you are one of the very best friends i've ever had in my entire life. maybe the best because you are such a good friend in so many senses of the word. i trust you. sorry i haven't commente lately. feels like i get to say the things i want to say and i'm not great at commenting just to do it. i like to have it come straight out of me.

10:17 AM  

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