Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Heartbeat but little movement

Last night, I was reading, well skimming, Sarah Bilston’s Bedrest, when I realized that I hadn’t felt much baby movement during the day. Usually bedtime for me is gymnastics time for baby /LG but I still didn’t feel much of anything. I was considering going downstairs for the Doppler when I felt a little thump. Somehow that was enough to put my mind at ease and I skimmed the rest of the book and went to sleep.

In the morning, after I rolled over, I felt nothing. Usually rolling over wakes up the little tyke. I started to worry and rolled over again. I poked. I prodded. I inquired about whether or not she was okay. Nothing. I got the hell out of bed and went downstairs to check the heartbeat. Heartbeat found. Whew.

Thank God for the Doppler. Really. I was initially reluctant to rent one and wondered if it would do more harm than good. Having a Doppler has been so great for my anxiety level. I would’ve been WIGGING this morning if I didn’t hear that heartbeat. It sounds normal. I can’t tell how many BPM because it’s too hard to count and watch the clock. Pregnancy retardation has hit me pretty hard as usual.

Around 10 a.m., I drank some Gatorade and laid down to see if any action would result. Eventually I felt some bumps and thumps, more than ten, within 20 or so minutes. The movements feel feeble though, not as robust as usual. That combined with the lack of movement last night and this morning? I called the nurse on call. Trusty assistant is away for the week.

The nurse called back immediately and said I could come in for a non-stress test. She was reassured however that I felt plenty of movement within a short period of time. With that and a heartbeat, she assured me there is no cause for concern. I figured fancy would rather that I stay put than drive into the city for a NST. The nurse said that the baby might have switched positions and is kicking the placenta instead of the uterine wall, making them harder to feel. Sooo I think everything is fine. I am still a little concerned that movement has been minimal but I will stay tuned in for the rest of the day and can always call back or go get the NST.

Btw, I cancelled my massage. Thanks for the “tough love”/ words-of-wisdom. I can get somebody to come to my house. No sense taking chances. God knows I would never forgive myself if something happened.

On Thursday I will get clear with fancy what his vision of my bedrest is exactly. I will also have an u/s so we’ll get a look at the funneling, as well as cervical length.

My favorite mamas, at Dosmamas, got a BFN on 11 dpo. ☹ Go give them some love or empathy or curse words or maybe all three. I don’t know what will help, if anything.

I know that we are committed to continuing to donate RM’s sperm to them. Next up: some testing for RM, most of which was probably done at his recent life insurance physical. Then a few well-timed trips to the clinic for some IUI’s. One step at a time, hopefully we’ll all get there.

I can’t fathom how much it sucks having to depend on somebody who is not your partner to provide you with the means to have a baby. All I know is that we are completely willing to do the IUI’s.

We are not about to bail out on you ladies because of a minor inconvenience. Lord knows Charlotte has driven her ass, and toddler, up here repeatedly to help me cope with various stages of the processes of losing two babies. That wasn’t convenient I am sure but I was in need so it didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to us either. Capiche?


Anonymous calliope said...

man, it sounds like having a doppler is THE way to go. phew.

have to say that even tho I don't really know you (out of my computer box) I got so fucking weepy reading the last bit of this post b/c it is SOOOOO what I imagine she needs to hear now. After all of the rugs being pulled under her and all of the people that ditched her...well, hell I know you never would. But I just had to say that I think you & RM are some amazing, wonderful & beautiful people. Seriously- kick ass.

2:25 PM  
Blogger bleu said...

I remember when I was on bedrest with Bliss early on it meant the only thing I could get up for was to go to the bathroom. A friend had to use a bedpan so as not to even get up for that, I thought THAT was harsh.
Good luck and know I am thinking of you.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Mermaidgrrrl said...

My baby seems to run in cycles of full-on activity and then a quiet day or two. It's like they do all these muscle building exercises then rest for a bit or something. So weird! I understand you feeling anxious though - thank god for the doppler.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous jennifer said...

I'm with the placenta-kicking thing. That seems to be the case with Baby B with me. It worried me at first but now I am kinda ok with it all. Plus, the baby probably moved into a new position so you are bound to feel an increase or descrease based on that. Thank goodness for the doppler....what a reassuring thing to have at your fingertips.

I would get your doctor to confirm the bedrest thing. It seems that with others I have know who were sentecned to bedrest, they had very specific orders...shower only once every two days, only get up to pee, etc. Your doctor seems lax, which just might mean that he thinks all you need is to rest a bit. Maybe you aren't at that stage where you need to only shower once a week. But it shouldn't be a mystery for you, that is for sure.

Good luck tomorrow! Keep us posted!

6:41 AM  
Anonymous bri said...

I can, as always, relate a bit. I can't stop dwelling on the fact that TK is always really still when we see him on the ultrasound. Wes said he thought he was moving around a bit more at the amnio, but I didn't notice because, well, I was about to have a needle plunged into my stomach, I guess. But at the 11w and the nuchal, he just wasn't moving much. They played his heartbeat for me at staggering volume and STILL I am thinking, "Yeah, great. But probably something is wrong." Wes and others tell me that he probably has a schedule and all ultrasounds have been at about 9 am and that he is probably just sleepy then. I am trying to decide whether I should drink a giant sugary coffee drink before the 20w anatomy scan or whether I might incite so much movement that they can't get the measurements they need. Considering he is my child, nothing could make him move around that much, though. We are a sedentary people.

Happy early birthday. Make someone come to you for the massage and congrats on 28 weeks coming up.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Ruby said...

Thank God for the doppler!

I would REALLY ask for a clarification of what bed rest means for you.

10:34 AM  
Blogger charlotte said...

Aw. You totally made me cry. I really needed to hear that today. You guys are so super great. It has been so reassuring and lovely that you and RM are so solid about this. We love you both.

I too am curious about what fancy doc will say tomorrow about bedrest. Say hi to the baby for me. Do you talk to her?

9:19 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Its 28 weeks!!!!!!!

6:31 AM  
Blogger delphi said...

Thank god. I can't wait to see what Thursday brings. More same old same old, I hope.

Sorry - this is SO off topic. I have set up a blog for listing Babyloss blogs and for posting helpful resources. My goal is to have a central location for our community to share information and to be a starting point for someone who is journeying this terrible path.


If you would like to list your blog in the Directory, please visit the site and email one of the Contributors listed in the sidebar.


11:00 AM  
Blogger Rosepetal said...

What happened on Thursday?

1:30 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

you make me nervous when you don't pst after an appt. I hope all is well.

1:40 PM  

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