Heartbeat but little movement

Last night, I was reading, well skimming, Sarah Bilston’s Bedrest, when I realized that I hadn’t felt much baby movement during the day. Usually bedtime for me is gymnastics time for baby /LG but I still didn’t feel much of anything. I was considering going downstairs for the Doppler when I felt a little thump. Somehow that was enough to put my mind at ease and I skimmed the rest of the book and went to sleep.

In the morning, after I rolled over, I felt nothing. Usually rolling over wakes up the little tyke. I started to worry and rolled over again. I poked. I prodded. I inquired about whether or not she was okay. Nothing. I got the hell out of bed and went downstairs to check the heartbeat. Heartbeat found. Whew.

Thank God for the Doppler. Really. I was initially reluctant to rent one and wondered if it would do more harm than good. Having a Doppler has been so great for my anxiety level. I would’ve been WIGGING this morning if I didn’t hear that heartbeat. It sounds normal. I can’t tell how many BPM because it’s too hard to count and watch the clock. Pregnancy retardation has hit me pretty hard as usual.

Around 10 a.m., I drank some Gatorade and laid down to see if any action would result. Eventually I felt some bumps and thumps, more than ten, within 20 or so minutes. The movements feel feeble though, not as robust as usual. That combined with the lack of movement last night and this morning? I called the nurse on call. Trusty assistant is away for the week.

The nurse called back immediately and said I could come in for a non-stress test. She was reassured however that I felt plenty of movement within a short period of time. With that and a heartbeat, she assured me there is no cause for concern. I figured fancy would rather that I stay put than drive into the city for a NST. The nurse said that the baby might have switched positions and is kicking the placenta instead of the uterine wall, making them harder to feel. Sooo I think everything is fine. I am still a little concerned that movement has been minimal but I will stay tuned in for the rest of the day and can always call back or go get the NST.

Btw, I cancelled my massage. Thanks for the “tough love”/ words-of-wisdom. I can get somebody to come to my house. No sense taking chances. God knows I would never forgive myself if something happened.

On Thursday I will get clear with fancy what his vision of my bedrest is exactly. I will also have an u/s so we’ll get a look at the funneling, as well as cervical length.

My favorite mamas, at Dosmamas, got a BFN on 11 dpo. ☹ Go give them some love or empathy or curse words or maybe all three. I don’t know what will help, if anything.

I know that we are committed to continuing to donate RM’s sperm to them. Next up: some testing for RM, most of which was probably done at his recent life insurance physical. Then a few well-timed trips to the clinic for some IUI’s. One step at a time, hopefully we’ll all get there.

I can’t fathom how much it sucks having to depend on somebody who is not your partner to provide you with the means to have a baby. All I know is that we are completely willing to do the IUI’s.

We are not about to bail out on you ladies because of a minor inconvenience. Lord knows Charlotte has driven her ass, and toddler, up here repeatedly to help me cope with various stages of the processes of losing two babies. That wasn’t convenient I am sure but I was in need so it didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to us either. Capiche?