Sunday, April 29, 2007

Shot of pitocin please

I just posted the following at sidelines, a bedrest support group. i posted there because i thought i might get some desperately needed support, attitude adjustment, anything. i'm posting it here too for the same reasons.

i'm seriously a woman on the verge.

"anytime anybody asks me if i need anything i say, "shot of pitocin?" seriously i am over it. i'm 33 1/2 weeks, serious bedrest since 26, modified since forever.

i have so many d**n contractions that i havent bothered even going to l&d. my doc checks my cervix and it feels fine, NOT TO ME IT DOESNT. somehow the cerclage is holding. the ctnxs hurt now. been havin them for months but they are getting worse. i really need to breathe thru them and my whole lower torso seizes up, clear out the vagina and other lower orifice. ouch. they wake me up and keep me up. i had one non-stress test and of course had no strong contractions during the 30 minute test.

called my doc the other day and his asst prescribed procardia, on his behalf of course, but i didnt fill the prescription bec i wanted to dicuss it in person. he was off for the day so i couldnt see him.

i feel like i've been going into labor for weeks but it never goes full-blown or more than five or six ctnxns an hour. i'm just exhausted esp from bedrest. i seriously get winded brushing my teeth and i feel like my water is about to break. there is so much pressure and discomfort.

i'm having a c-section, hopefully at 38 if the amnio shows the lungs to be mature. my doc will be away from 38-39 1/2 weeks. i cant stand the idea of going to 39 1/2. i'm afraid the contractions are going to cause the cerclage to tear out of my flesh.

i am struggling to remember that i'll never do this again and i might miss it when its over and the baby really needs more time but it isn't really helping. i feel like a selfish brat but i am SOOO uncomfortable. i've been pregnant since summer of 2005 (long, awful story). check my blog at

it's not pretty but it's honest.

somebody please help me remember/realize why i need to make it a few more weeks. i was holding on so i could get a bedrest reprieve at 35 weeks but i can barely walk around at all without being incredibly uncomfortable. my uterus is constantly seized up and it feels like i've got a bowling ball in there. i dont think i'm going to fulfill the fantasy of being pregnant and cute and out and about. i cant sit at a table without sitting on a big red donut cushion and even that hurts.

i saw a slight pink discharge last night and my first reaction was, "yay, maybe that's my mucus plug coming." how warped is that at only 33 1/2 weeks?

i'm going to ask my doctor for a steroid shot so if my water does break the baby will have a good chance at mature lungs. is there a down side to getting the steroid shot? side effects?

help! i've asked lots of questions here. thoughts about any part of this post would be helpful.


Anonymous kari said...

i've been there. i was in the hospital on bedrest for almost two weeks and thought i'd go insane. i'm not trying to tell you what to do, but maybe you should go to l&d. i had painful contractions and pink spotting for about three days before my water broke, at 31 wks. hospital stalled my labor with drugs and bed rest til 32.4. But I kept begging for pitocin, too! Then I'd get the judgy speeches from the nurses abt the baby needing to bake longer. She's 9 months now and perfectly fine.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Samantha said...

I am with Kari. Maybe you should think about l&d. Better safe...

7:47 PM  
Blogger lagiulia said...

Go to l&d. You should at least be monitored for a while, as should the baby. After all you've been through, I don't think you should risk *anything.* And get those steroid shots!!!!! In fact, go to l&d if for no other reason than to get to get the shots, because this baby just might be coming really soon, and that will help her immensely. It is standard practice for babies who might be born prematurely.

I know the feeling of being so uncomfortable and absolutely huge and unable to do anything at all other than lie around like a very uncomfortable beached whale. I know the continual and severe contractions. But - and this is honest, since you asked for it - I wish I could have kept my boys in for longer. Being in the NICU for a month is a huge deal. It's heart-wrenching and physically difficult after pregnancy/c-sec. And you have kids at home to also be with. My one boy had problems throughout his first year... mostly scares, but they were, we think, due to prematurity for the most part. To reassure you, though, he is doing well now at 17 mo. And, most kids born at 34 weeks do better than mine did. But chances are you're still looking at NICU time.

I really think you should go to l&d. I am worried about you. Please, go get the attention you and the little one need. Thinking of you a lot.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous kari said...

oh, i forgot. i didn't have side effects from the steroid shots. i dunno if there's a downside to them, but i think they helped my daughter immensely. she never needed oxygen or had any respiratory problems. her NICU stay was two weeks, btw. it takes 48 hours to get the series of shots.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous bri said...

I don't have any advice but wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sorry that this is sucking so fucking much. I hope you can get some relief soon.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Michell said...

I don't have my drug guide to look up all side effects for the steroid shots but I know that the main one is increased blood sugar which usually is a problem if you are diabetic/gestational diabetic which would mean you would require more insulin but otherwise isn't a problem. Also from the time I worked in NICU 33-34 week infants usually did really good. Not that I'm saying to go ask for pitocin but if she does come early, unless there is some sort of infection involved, it should be fine. I do agree with the other posts though that you should go to L&D if for no other reason than to get the steroids started.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Alyssa said...

I was on strict bedrest from 19 weeks 6 days until 35 weeks. I delivered at 38 weeks. I went CRAZY. Seriously. I know where you are at. The sheer exhaustion of walking to the bathroom amazed me.

I've had steroid shots with my last two babies...and no one has warned me about side effects...but they did kind of indicate they didn't do steroid shots after 34 weeks because they are most effective 1-2 weeks after they give them...and at that point the lungs would most likely be mature anyways.

I didn't want to wait 'til 39 weeks for my c-section (and my water broke so I didn't have to...) but honestly...the only thing that kept me sane was the thought of a baby in NICU. I really wanted to make it to 36 so I could take my baby home. The thought of having a c-section and having the baby in another part of the hospital was the only thing that made me glad I was still pregnant. We also had a bout of RSV with my last baby...and it was horrible. I know that preemies are much more susceptible to I was hoping for longer for that as well.

I'm not sure this post is going to be very helpful. I really feel for you...I'm home with a 2 week old now..and not sure if I'm exhusted from the bedrest, surgery, the newborn or the fact that I managed to get strep throat last week. :)

If you can't get your docs to listen (I couldn't when my water was leaking)...I agree with everyone else...go to l&d. Once I called them...they said "Come on in..." and 5 hours later I had a daughter. :)

Good luck! It's horribly difficult. Bedrest is hell.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

I to agree with Kari, Samantha & Lagiulia.....Maybe you should go to L & D to be monitored, as well as demanding from your doctor that you want this and you want to be reasured! You deserve only the best, espicially if you are SO uncomfortable darling!

xo-Erin, Birdie's Mama

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

I have so much empathy for you-- I was on bedrest with constant contractions from 20 weeks until 34, delivered at 36. I think you should use some meds to help you through at this point-- nifedipine would probably let you get some rest at night, and a sleep aid to use now and then would probably make a world of difference-- ambien, vistaril, unisom, whatever your doctor recommends. I resorted to this with no ill effects. Your poor body has been through so much! You have to get some rest.

Be kind to yourself about your feelings of wanting it over-- you won't make yourself go into labor by wishing for it. Your body is going to deliver when it delivers. You should feel free to sport a piss-poor attitude from now until delivery!

You are so close (even though I know a few weeks in bedrest time is like a year in real life time). You are going to feel so much better after you deliver. Sweet freedom!

6:15 PM  
Blogger Ruby said...

I agree, L&D is a good idea. At least, you'll have peace of mind. They could help with the pain too.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

I have absolutely nothing constructive offer. I just wanted to you know that I'm thinking about you!

9:37 AM  
Anonymous steph said...

Just wanted you to know I check on you everyday. I hate to hear how awful you feel, and I can't wait to read a post about you holding your perfect little girl alive and well in your arms!! Hang in there!! I'm thinking about you and hoping for time to pass quickly and safely.

2:48 PM  

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