We have two incredible kids. A year ago, we decided to have one more. One year later, I've held one dead baby in my arms and one in the palm of my hand. We'd like to have one that lives next time. Is that too much to ask? Only time will tell.
posted by whatthef*ck at 4:31 PM
Five years ago, I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy and he is alive and well today. Two years later, I saw my first dead baby on an ultrasound. Shortly after I got pregnant again and, despite a blood clot that caused me to bleed for 10 weeks, I had a baby girl in June 2004. I got pregnant with our third child in July 2005. In December 2005 I had no choice but to deliver my baby girl at 23 weeks, knowing that she would die immediately. I found the courage to try again and in April 2006 got pregnant again. In July 2006, I delivered my 10 1/2 week old baby boy into the palm of my hand. Now in March 2007, I am 26 weeks pregnant. I am trying again to have a baby that lives. Because every good drama needs one: here's the twist. My husband and I are currently donating his sperm to our dear friends, a lesbian couple who want a known donor for their second child. Holy leap of faith.
2 Comments:
"Time to Move on" to a place of peace and serenity. Time to celebrate WHAT IS and not could be, should be, might be. This is the season of the magnificent birth. This is the season of wonder and miracles. Move on if you must, and let God's skilled hand guide you. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I will certainly visit you at this one and your new one.
First time for me here, too, and I'm so sorry for your losses. I'll come back and read more when I have time and my toddler isn't demanding that I draw her a "tiny sled. Right now mom." But: that's not a widget on my site, it's just the graphic I copy and pasted onto my blog from Compassionate Friends website. (Let me know if you need help figuring out how to do that.) We'll be attending the service at Children's Hospital, which is huge -- 250-300 families represented with over 1,000 people. You did give me the idea, though, to carry with me pieces of paper with the names of other dead children on them I'd like to honor that night. So thank you, yours will be represented at my service.
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