Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Redemption

Charlotte here from dosmamas posting at WTF’s request. First of all IT’S ALL GOOD. I don’t know what I am going to say…I’m still in an altered state after the birth and I am nervous to fill WTF’s writing shoes. Her wit and gritty realism are effortless. Anyhoo, she wants me to post about the birth on her behalf, so here goes, but first I must say thank you to them. I must get very mushy and tell WTF and her husband that I am blessed a million times over to have witnessed their darkest and most joyful experiences, to be their friends, and to accept their graciousness as they help us create new life for our family. OK, onto Tuesday.

Baby L is beautiful, and a whopping 6 lbs 4 oz, the biggest baby EVER in the WTF Rocket Man clan (they ARE now a clan, or a troupe, or something). We all kept expressing our disbelief at this LARGE baby. Heh. She looks just like their son, and is perfectly perfect in every way.


PTSD & THE LAST TIME

The last time I was at that hospital was to help them deliver LC (deadbaby). I experienced a bit of PTSD after that birth, so I started having flashbacks the moment I set foot in the parking lot of the hospital.

WTF in a hospital bed. The Lobby. The waiting room where I wept to my wife and my mom. Passing the nurse who helped us bathe WTF in alcohol and fan her 106 degree body. The room where she gave birth (of course without the small red rose they had taped to her door which meant “this baby will die: don’t say congratulations”).

Rocket Man and I overheard Fancy doc explain WTFs situation to the doctor who arrived to assist him in the C section. When he got to the part about WTF’s uterine infection, he said “she almost lost her life”, and I felt like I got punched in the throat. She did. She really almost died last year. Thank god it was sunny and daytime and not a stormy, rainy, scary hell night from hell. No, it was happy, lovely and entirely different. But WTF needed to hear her baby cry, before she could believe this was really going to happen.

GETTING READY

I was so excited. Rocket Man and I got to wear *scrubs*. SCRUBS! It was totally thrilling (I am easily entertained). But my excitement was soon dashed, when WTF said I looked like a LUNCH LADY. She then had a ginormous belly laugh when I exclaimed “WHY do I look like the lunch lady while Rocket Man looks like a surgeon???”. I think you had to be there, seeing us both in our weird blue paperfabric scrubs including blue paperfabric shower caps, to appreciate the hilarity. I digress.

Rocket Man and I waited for 15 minutes outside the OR, while WTF got her epidural and got sliced open. We waited in a chair similar to the chairs that Rocket Man has waited in before, twice, for their other two kids. He started getting nervous. Rocket Man is so solid, it is strange to see him vulnerable. He kinda looked like a lunch lady too, until he put on his surgical mask. I was happy he wasn’t sitting there alone.

Waiting, waiting, waiting. Suddenly the door opened (just like Rocket Man said it would), and we were SPEEDILY ushered in (just like Rocket Man said we would) and it was ON.

REDEMPTION

We were all there. Almost. The original crew from Little Charlotte’s birth, ready.

1. The fabulous nurse who helped us all emotionally and medically. Nurse Kickass, I’ll call her. She has this way of petting a forehead that just makes you feel like everything will be okay in the end. Thank the stars for her. She pulled a double shift and slept at the hospital to be there for this birth.

2. Fancy Doc. How can I describe this man? 60ish. Short. Cocky. Kind. He showed up wearing some yellow tinted sunglasses one would find on a 20 year old, and brown leather shoes you would find on a gay man. He has an accent. Where the hell is he from? Germany? I think so. Anyway he’s a character, and his scrubs were very form fitting. Oh, and he’s really THE BEST at what he does.

3. Rocket Man. Dear lord this man is calm. He has to be, to be married to WTF, but still. I have grown to love him as I witness his unending love for WTF. He was sitting to my right, and we were both next to WTF’s head, behind the sterile field fabric (you’ve seen this on medical TV show right?)

4. Me. This was the third birth I have been at. Four if you count my son’s birth. My very first C section. I was the video person. That was my job. I did an OK job, all things considered. But I was so incredibly present in the moment, and worried about holding WTF’s hand at all times, so I was not as focused on the video as I could have been.

After much cutting, tugging, pulling, yanking and more cutting, she was born. Baby L. Rocket Man and I stood up and witnessed her emergence. Unbelievable. WTF needs to post herself about what it was like for her...I can only imagine.

I will post on my site this week about how gory and fascinating it was to see WTF’s uterus lifted onto her stomach, sewn up, and put back in (and her cerclage successfully removed). What a miracle the whole thing was. For anyone who wonders if a scheduled C section is any less miraculous than a vaginal birth, let me tell you (having seen both) that IT WAS JUST AS FUCKING AMAZING.

Within reason, WTF got everything she wanted: two people present for her C section, her own music playing during the whole thing, a big private room, and finally, at last, a scream.

A live baby put right on her chest.

Redemption.

43 Comments:

Blogger bleu said...

I am in tears, I am so happy. Thank you Charlotte so much for posting. Congrats to WTF and RocketMan and all their children and family. I am so happy for you that you have this beautiful birth of a healthy baby. Thanks so much for posting, I have been refreshing for 24 hours.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Ruby said...

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful! I've been checking your post every half hour eagerly anticipating the great news. I am so unbelievably happy (Yes, I know I don't know you) for you and your family! I am in tears over your joy.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Thank you Charlotte!

10:28 PM  
Blogger Rosepetal said...

Congratulations WTF and Rocket Man and Charlotte and welcome L.

1:03 AM  
Blogger Patience said...

What fantastic news- thanks for posting and a big Congrats! to the WTF clan!

1:14 AM  
Anonymous tonya cinnamon said...

congrats !!!!! i am sitting here in tears and a big ole smile.....

1:48 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Delurking to say congratulations! An amazing story - so beautifully written. I have been thinking of you and hoping for this wonderful outcome and I'm so happy it's all over. Welcome Baby L!

2:44 AM  
Anonymous vee said...

Congratulations on finally getting the happy ending you deserve. I'm so happy for you and your family. And thank you Charlotte, for posting the news so eloquently.

2:48 AM  
Blogger three minute palaver said...

HOly crap, I am SO very happy for you that baby L is here and everything went perfectly. I think maybe there is a god after all!

3:13 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

Eeeee, this is so exciting!!! Oh, I am so happy for you! I have been checking back too, all day, for good news and hoping that everything turned out okay. Oh, congratulations WTF and thanks Charlotte for posting to let us know!

Happy LIVE birthday, Baby L! You are so loved and wanted and welcomed and waited for.

Uff, this is just fabulous news.

3:31 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Oh, beautiful!! Congrats to the clan! That post was so beautifully written, I'm at a loss for words. Amazing. I'm so excited for you, WTF!

4:01 AM  
Blogger ewe are here said...

Congratulations. Wonderful news!

4:01 AM  
Blogger Co said...

Congratulations. I am so glad to hear that it went so well.

And Charlotte, great job guest posting.

4:08 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Welcome Baby L! We're all so glad you're here!

4:53 AM  
Anonymous indigoscot said...

i'm in tears also adter reading this. it's a miracle. i'm so happy for wtf and rocketman and baby l. tbanks for sharing!

5:47 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Happy tears! Happy tears! Happy tears!

Congratulations my friend! Now rest up...you aren't going to get to laze around on that couch anymore (thank heavens, huh?).

Welcome to the world Baby L! You've got one strong mama. She fought like hell to get you here. I hope you always know how lucky you are to have her.

Thank you for posting this Charlotte. I think you did WTF proud.

5:52 AM  
Blogger Eliza said...

Oh, this is SO good to hear! I'm so very, very relieved and happy for WTF--I've been reading, mostly lurking, for a long time and counting down days until viability, "probably okay," "probably won't have to go to the NICU," and all of those little milestones you celebrate in a high-risk pregnancy. I've done the "lie around and count days and Google statistics" thing three times, and I know what she was going though. It's the kind of thing that leaves a permanent mark on a woman, where worry leaves a scar that will fade but never disappear completely. Charlotte, you did a FABULOUS job guest-posting, and I'm so glad you did. WTF, I don't know you, but you feel like part of my Internet family, and I'm so proud of you for all of the sacrifices you made, all of the boredom and hip pain and tears you endured to give little L. those extra days and weeks that lead to that wonderful first cry. Congratulations to you and Rocket Man and that big, beautiful girl, and well done!

5:52 AM  
Anonymous steph said...

Fantastic - I just knew it would be perfect!! Congrats!! I am so happy and relieved!!

5:56 AM  
Blogger lagiulia said...

Congratulations WTF! "Happy" doesn't even begin to adequately describe how I felt reading this post. Take care, and Welcome little L!

6:01 AM  
Blogger Michell said...

Thank you Charlotte for posting and congratulations to WTF and Rocket Man. I am very happy for you and so glad that you got your delivery you wanted.

6:13 AM  
Anonymous gypsygrrl said...

charlotte, thanks for posting!!! i was in starting the tears before i even read the post, i scrolled down and read the line: "a live baby put right on her chest" and then big tears!

congrats to everyone!!!
much love,
gypsygrrl

6:23 AM  
Blogger Truck Driver Wife said...

Prayers have been answered. Through tears I am writing to say CONGRATS to WTF and ROCKETMAN. You guys deserve so much happiness. Congrats to your other children. Thank you Charlotte for updating us. I have been on the edge of my seat since Tuesday. Charlotte, your day will be soon.

6:26 AM  
Anonymous j said...

Wow C. Excellent guest post.

WTF - congratulations. Well done. Amazing.

6:29 AM  
Anonymous bri said...

I don't weep easily for blogs but this one gets me. I am so, so hapy for WTF and RocketMan and their kids and for you for having been there for the redemptive moment (for her and for yourself and your PTSD, too).

It is such a relief.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous calliope said...

perfect update! Well done, Charlotte.

CONGRATS! to RocketMan, WTF & the rest of the clan!

woooooo fucking hoooooooo!

7:55 AM  
Anonymous nycphoenix said...

wonderful post. I am in tears. Many blessings to WTF, Rocket Man, Baby L., her siblings and you!

7:58 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Jeezus. I'm at work and I'm tearing up. Congratulations to WTF and RM! Thank you, Charlotte, for sharing the news with us.

8:10 AM  
Blogger Melody said...

A great story beautifully told. Congratulations, WTF! Can't wait to hear it in your own words.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Cheek said...

Oh, such wonderful news, from such a terrific storyteller.

Congratulations to the whole WTF clan, troupe, gaggle, etc, and welcome to the world, Baby L!

8:24 AM  
Blogger AJW5403 said...

Congratulations

9:12 AM  
Blogger delphi said...

I am so, so, so, so, SO glad. No, happy. No ecstatic! I've been waiting for this news.

A huge congratulations to you all!

9:35 AM  
Blogger AJ said...

Beautiful post. I had chills at the end! Congratulations WTF and family! :)

10:53 AM  
Blogger BethGo said...

Hip-hip-hooray!!!
Congrats to all.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

CONGRATULATIONS, all!!!

1:31 PM  
Blogger Natalie said...

Woo-hoo! She's here! It sounds like everything was perfect.

Huge congratulations to everyone!

I can't wait for her to come home and to hear all about her.

1:36 PM  
Anonymous kris said...

Delurking to say YAY! And Congratulations! :)

2:28 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

Thank fucking G-d! Can't wait to see pictures!!

6:13 PM  
Blogger CappyPrincess said...

I didn't realize how much I'd been holding my breath for you, hoping and praying that Baby L would be delivered safely into your family. I'm so happy for your family. Congratulations to all of you.

And thanks to Charlotte for the guest post.

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Mary said...

YAY!!!!!

I'm so HAPPY!!!!!

4:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What wonderful news. I stumbled upon your blog months ago and have been keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. What a beautiful new beginning!

8:31 AM  
Anonymous carey & steph said...

Yeah!! We're so happy for you guys. Charlotte, thanks for posting!! It sounds like it was a beautiful experience... congrats to you all!!

10:12 AM  
Blogger momofdom said...

Words cannot express the joy I feel for WTF and Rocketman. I wish them all a wonderful life full of happiness.

6:12 PM  
Blogger infertilepediatrician said...

Congratulations on the great news! I can't wait to hear WTF's version.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous kim said...

de-lurking for once to say OMG I'm crying for you all. Amazing. Congratulations. Love and Light around you all!

8:09 PM  

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