Monday, November 06, 2006

Tomorrow: Election day and tooth in ovary day

I can’t wait to get tomorrow over with. I hope the Democrats can pull one of out of their behinds, but my confidence is not inspired by their general ineptness.

I have an ultrasound at 1:00 with a doctor who can hopefully identify what is growing on my left ovary. On Halloween, just after hearing that it could be a tooth, I thought the whole thing was pretty ridiculous. Then I did some research and got a little freaked out.

Apparently the possible tooth could also be a ball of hair, a gland, an EYEBALL, OR A LIMB BUD. A tooth? Fine. Creepy but fine. But an eyeball or a LIMB BUD? That is not okay with me. I’ve had one too many “procedures” to be up for having a small arm removed from my ovary. Dermo*d cysts, as they are called, can grow up to 17 inches and 40 lbs!!!!!! I really wish I hadn't read that. My "growth" seems, to me, to be growing rather quickly because it wasn’t observed during my last pregnancy that ended on June 30th.

Apparently, a dermo*d cyst tends to be full of greasy fluid and needs to be carefully removed lest it spill its nasty contents onto neighboring organs causing adhesions and pain. Greasy fluid? I already feel vomitous (new word) day and night; that really grossed me out.

Dermo*d cysts can choke off the blood supply to the ovary causing infertility and a lot of pain. I’m getting a little ahead of myself here. I’m just freaked out.

Someday soon I’ll take on the task of posting about my long and sordid obstetrical and gynecological history (major surgery to remove a large uterine fibr*id, an unconscious D&C, two biopsies to remove high-grade funkiness on my cervix, surgery to stitch my cervix closed, four days of hellish invasiveness with LC including surgery to take out the stitch, a fully conscious D&C from hell . Suffice it to say this for now: I get extremely skittish about mere Pap smears and even a trip to the dentist can bring on the cold sweats when I see that instrument tray.

I’m hoping to see a live baby tomorrow and a really boring calcified cyst that is left over from a long ago ovulation. If we see a live baby tomorrow then we have passed deadbabymilestone #1, my first deadbaby having died at 7 ½ weeks.

In the meantime, I saw a friend yesterday who took a quick look at me and said, “Ohhh, look at you.” 8 weeks and showing, again.

I went to a maternity store yesterday but couldn’t bring myself to buy anything. The woman did tell me that if I lose the baby I can return anything, anytime, even if I’ve worn it. That is a radical departure from their normal return policy. Not that she was making an exception for me. That is just their unstated policy. How humane. Really.

Less than 24 hours until my ultrasound.

I’m thinking of putting up a ticker counting down until the end of the first trimester. That’s a ticker that I can feel good about.

6 Comments:

Blogger mermaidgrrrl said...

That sounds like a very good idea for your ticker :-) Fingers crossed you're not going to have a foot attatched to that ovary!

5:38 PM  
Blogger Mama2BandT said...

We are all pulling for you and a happy ultrasound tomorrow here at my household...sending positive vibes your way...I have a friend who is anxiously counting down her first trimester too after her 2 miscarriages...

5:38 PM  
Anonymous bri said...

I am sorry if I made light of the scary dermoid cyst situation. Wes and I just honestly are obsessed with them as part of our Obsession With Gross Things. Seriously. Obsessed. And we became more so when I thought I had one. I didn't and I SOOOOO hope you don't have one either. Anyway, I am sorry if I was flippant.

I will be thinking of you.

5:46 PM  
Blogger whatthef*ck said...

thanks for the good vibes.
bri-no worries about my possible brunhilda. i thought your comments were funny and that you had a higher tolerance for gross stuff than me. i wasn't truly disgusted until i read about the greasy contents and the possible limb bud or eyeball. the tooth seemed a little more straightforward. i definitely would never want to see it but there was a time in my life when i would've thought that would be cool. BTW, i like your statement "someday you will come to my beach house." i love a good beach house and i rarely feel more at peace than when i'm near the ocean. i look forward to charlotte's report on the weekend and what the wizards behind the curtains are like, especially you.

7:23 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Fingers crossed for a totally healthy little Sprout and something completely boring in your ovary. You popped into my head as I was driving home from work yesterday! I've been thinking about you, and I want everything to turn out okay.

Also, I absolutely love your first trimester ticker idea. Now that week 13 is going to be a big deal for me (when I get pregnant again), I might steal that one.

3:23 AM  
Blogger Rosepetal said...

Wishing for good news for you today.

3:40 AM  

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